Wednesday, September 26, 2018

MY WHAT THIN LEGS YOU HAVE

I was walking my dog today and saw a woman entering her apartment with black leggings, to go coffee in hand, going about her every day business, and I, like usual, looked at her long thin legs. Her legs were extraordinarily thin, in a kind of more that usual unhealthy way, yet in my mind I thought "I wish I had your legs/body".

I am not fat, or overweight, Im generally healthy, but I have always had hammy legs, even when I trained in ballet, then martial arts, then yoga, it didn't matter, cellulite and thick thick thighs that didn't match my lacking breast size.   This leg war needs to end.

I look at women legs a lot wishing I had theirs versus mine, wishing that I also could wear leggings confidently, although I am sick of that look and I am sick of people dressing looking like they are working out all the time.  Seriously though, who cares, why do I give such shits about people wearing leggings or not.  I mean, I dress like a frump, I just don't wear leggings, so does this make me better, NOPE.   This duality of self shame and judgement is unhealthy of course, but I also think that most people feel this and at this point, whatever, I can own this.

Admittedly, I just googled "why people wear leggings" and articles about people who wear leggings are wrong and why they should STOP, and somehow this made me feel righteous and better.

I know where this body image of mine comes from, I won't bore you with the details.  Besides my personal programming though, the body image thing is becoming worse and worse I think. Or maybe its because of my age, I am entering into the end of my youngness and the beginning of my oldness.  45, when your metabolism shifts gears,  fear of getting old and looking saggy starts to become the reality that I once thought would never happen to me.

In conclusion. The woman with scary thin legs, Im sorry.  Other ladies whose legs and leg wear I judge,  Im sorry.  Me, Im sorry.

Friday, January 27, 2017

IM SORRY


Every time there is a new person elected, feelings are had on either side, and we need to do what we need to do to feel better.  I personally feel like we will never hear these words of ownership and self awareness from this president, so I decided to do it for myself.  

I shot these photos of Trump in 2010 and I dug these up.  






Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

ART NIGHT IN APRIL

Last Sunday, 2 gals and I gathered and made these interesting pieces of art for fun. 
This is a continuation of my getting together with friends and creating random unplanned and unrestricted art.  The mission is to let loose and not have the expectation of making perfection.  The results are remarkable, playful, and full of life.  

This is a collaboration at its truest form as there is no delineation of what marks were created by who... 

Thank you Melissa and Jori for playing!  


                           






Thursday, March 24, 2016

TO A CRISP


I started burning books in the category of "Self Help" as I have noticed that having to "try" to be what is expected by whomever is deeming is the correct way to be is a fruitless endeavor.

Here are a few ideas for the name of the project:

False Hopes
Recreating the Wheel

More to come!

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem - Book by Nathaniel Branden






Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah - Richard Bach 




Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

SAD BEAUTY

In college I felt cool shooting morbid photos of dead bugs, fish, birds and whatever else dead that crossed my path.

 I hadnt done that in a while and then I found two dead little birds in my side yard.

It didn't feel as cool this time around, it felt more sad and quiet... but I still grabbed my camera.