MY MOMMAZ DONUTZ - ITS TIME TO MAKE EM

Every Christmas, my mother and uncle Charles gear up for their favorite holiday activity, making doughnuts.  or "les beignes" as they say in French.   Just the making of the doughnuts is not where it ends.  During my holiday stay, I noticed that every conversation somehow made its rounds and eventually circled back to the doughnuts.  Im not sure exactly how this happens, but it is engrained into the subconscious of my family.  

I remember as a kid knowing nothing but my mothers doughnut, which is more like the traditional french doughnut, and tasting an american doughnut for the first time.  In my young mind I remember thinking, "eh?  this isnt a doughnut! I dont get it", what a food snob from the get go ;)  I do actually like the american doughnuts now, but these little gems are a real treat.

this recipe makes about 50

3-4 c all (unbleached) purpose flour
4 tspn baking powder
1 tspn salt
5 tbspn butter
1 c sugar
4 eggs well beaten
1/2 c milk
1/2 c cream (15% fat)
1 tspn vanilla
1 1/2 liter veggie, canola, or grapeseed oil
powdered sugar

sift 3 c of flour, baking powder, and salt.

in a separate bowl whip the butter well until creamy, add 1/2 of the sugar (1/2c) to the butter.

in a separate bowl, whip the eggs with the remaining sugar (1/2 c)

blend the egg mixture into the butter mixture and whip really well.

slowly incorporate increments of flour into the butter/sugar/egg mixture.  after approx 1 cup of flour has been incorporated, add the 1/2 cup of milk...blend.

then begin incorporating increments of flour again.  after an other cup has been incorporated, add the 1/2 c cream and vanilla...blend.

then begin incorporating increments of flour again (approx 1 more cup).
the dough should not be sticky to the touch.  if it is, add more flour in small increments.

wrap the the dough in plastic wrap, set in the fridge and let sit for 1 hour.

before you begin rolling out the dough, in a large pot (a big stew pot)  add the 1 1/2 liter of vegetable oil or canola oil or if our fancy and have cash to spare, grape seed oil (this oil has a higher burning point which is great).  If you have a deep fryer, thats even better.

roll out the dough to about 1 inch thick (incorporate more flower if things start to get too sticky)

cut out your doughnut shapes these work best at about a 3 inch diameter, I have recently seen a recipe for square doughnuts (thanks sonia), which I though was clever because there is less wasted dough.

to test the oil if it is hot enough drop a teensy amount of dough in, if it starts fizzing and frying right away, its ready, if not, wait a little longer, n try again.

when its ready drop your doughnuts in the oil, they will sink to the bottom of the pot, in a matter of seconds they will rise up again.   The bottom should be done, by that time its about a minute..  flip the guy, and fry until golden brown. It takes aprox two minutes total of frying time.  You can gauge what color brown tastes best for you, that sounds weird...  scoop em out with a slotted spoon or one of those big ole flat spoons scoopers with holes in em, and place the doughnuts on a paper towel or brown paper bag.

on a side note: you can also fry the doughnut holes and whatever scrap of dough you have.  we must not waste any scrap of goodness.

when ready to eat, dust with powdered sugar.  WOOOOP!

MAJOR LAZER FAMILY PORTRAIT

MAJOR  LAZER  FAMILY  PORTRAIT

Wes likes to read, hes an intellect at heart.  He makes great sammiches and likes to play us his record collection.  He likes dinosaurs.

Kyle is the story teller and comedian of the fam.  We all gather round the kitchen table to hear about Kyles anecdotes and funnies.  his short movies are hilarity.  He likes cheese n crackers.

The cornerstone of the lazer family, Erika is our level headed kung fu queen.   She makes a mean cup o coffee, and a badass oatmeal.  She likes cheese puffs.

Aunt Carol, zen master, teacher of all cool moves. Like all great masters, she doesn't say much, but when she does, we're listening.  She likes church.

Reggie likes carrots.

WE ALL LOVE THE MUSIC AND DANCE

Thank you Uncle Schilling for the fab photo, where would the family be without you?  He likes his eggs poached.  

BABBLEOGRAPHY

Yesterday I shot a casting,  and made sure that some stand out remarks that I say would be notated, I found this to be a crucial part of the shoot.

As you read along, I will sound like an asshole, which is totally understandable out of context, but you must believe me when I tell you that we all were laughing our asses off, including the talent (that is my prime goal at a casting, actually, all of the time).  If you've done a casting with me before, I know you can vouch for me.

I was told by the client to not have the talent look at the camera.

This is a running log of the things that just poured out of my mouth....brace yourself

Fantasticles 
Smile with your brain 
Flirt with your butt 
The rule is, you’re not allowed to look at me anymore 
Say hi to all the corners of my studio 
can you speak irish with an irani twist? 
we’re doing the photo model dance, you and me. 
do that model dance that models tend to do 
smile with your left clavicle, see how that works out. 
who’s that over there? He’s handsome. Oops, my mistake that’s a woman. 
who’s that over there? he’s cute. but why’s his mom with him? Oh, she’s wearing a clown outfit. 
flirt with the left shoulder 
You’re going to look everywhere except at my big black eye 
Don’t look at me. I’m like hot lava. 
Are you breathing? 
I’ll say big black blob all day long 
If you look at this, you’ll get shot with a beam of light 
I caught you! you keep looking at me. I’m so fucking beautiful you can’t help it. 
I want you to get some fucking action on that shit. 
ya’ll bitches in the house ya’ll. 
Is that right hip smiling? 
Stand on Stanley 
Whats the O for? It’s like infinity without a belt 
Is that your right nostril flirting with me? 
My big black eye be looking at you. 
Some machine vomited on my floor and now you’re standing on it. 
Hey Carl. Say what’s up carlbrella
A little more excitement, but with less teeth. 
Give me your grown up eyes 
We’re going to pretend we’re on a cloud having a good time 
I love it when you’re smiling with my face (Japanese accent) 
Flirt, but around me. 
Tortillini, Mostacholi 
You’re like a phone, but in a human shape 
Girl with the blue dress...Mmmhm 
I’ve got sass and I mean it. Let’s go. 
Happy Sass on your ass 
I want to make sure you’re still living with me 
Don’t be a bitch camera 
Is that a lovely man looking at you or me or whoever?
Show me all your shit. Right here. 
Show me that big mouth talent. 
Less smile but more sneaky smile 
you can put your hands on your hip. up down, all around. 
More internal enjoyment 
We can do that photo passing dance we do everyday. 
I can tell you can dance. I believe in it. 
Spin around a little more. Go away. 
Never never look at me. That’s the big ol rule.